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two bus tango

by queer choir

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1.
i think standard tuning, capo 1, 2, 3, 4, 5? *mango meows*
2.
am i silly, am i sad? for wanting more than what i have still i miss it, living on the edge never knowing which blow to expect next now i sit reading a script that isn’t there how i long for a catastrophe i can handle (big belch)
3.
1.26 01:34
4.
interludo 01:25
5.
when will i 01:38
where will i work, where will i find self worth? where will i work, where will i find self worth? where...or...maybe when? when will i thrive? feel alive? when will i die? when will i let out my last cry?
6.
new novel 04:10
it’s so strange to not have that cloud of fear at every foot fall i feel my head is clear, i’ve gone and smoked it up it makes a difference, see, to feel safe at home not that i want to be anywhere else at all oh what a change i feel that i have opened up a whole chapter to a whole new novel i am the same, i am missing, i am playing games hoping to stay alive and i want this time to go right, yes, i want this time to go right isn’t it funny how you finally made it out and now you’re stressed about things that you...i dont know what fucking rhymes...fuck....things that you manage now? *whisper screams till he realizes he should just drop the octave* with a happy heart, with someplace to call your own these four walls, a warmth in the halls what a mighty change this has done for me i cant exactly see yes im a microscropic view of everything and i dont wanna zoom out and see how this could be for fear of losing out
7.
wanting to make things all better and all cozy and unified and cuddle somehow, not knowing how the world will continue to be fucked and that’s guaranteed we just gotta care for ourselves long enough to survive it holding too much responsibility for others, i think functioning wouldn’t be like this im a contracted individual here, i will do what im paid to do, i will do what i aim to do
8.
feel it out 00:41
slow it down, think it out be rational, you’re exhausted feel it out, sing it out
9.
hisonesty 01:05
i hated waiting for approval that never came you’re so full of it, get your head out of the game would it be better if i lied? would that help you sleep at night?
10.
it’s silly in a sense why do i do this? still trying my best end up screaming will you let me in? can’t run away from this, few days it’s coming i dont wanna go, can i stay here? put me in the traffic cars outside instead honk at someone, watch the sunset still feel alone, no matter what you said *cat enters the room* miss mango miss mango is here miss sweetheart, dont disappear (you gonna work the pedals mango?) *begins making biscuits on carpet* (percussion by mango) still here, still here still fear, still fear my dear, my dear
11.
faggy foggy nebulous mist i don’t wanna be another bullet in your loneliness list faggy foggy fabulous bliss is where i exist, keep the whimsy in advance i don’t wanna be another bullet in your loneliness list faggy fabulous wonderful times singing all the rhymes, that’s what i want, not clarity, not verbalized what you feel inside so im not guessing?
12.
the two bus tango the two bus tango they call it the two bus tango the two bus tango how far will i go how much will i sell myself just to get some attention please just a bit more than i’ve been experiencing and what oh what must i do to feel like a whole person am i not relevant dont know where i landed maybe i’ll start to dip call a two bus tango call a two bus tango
13.
soon as i hang up it sinks in again the crushing weight of this loneliness do i need someone here at all times just to feel kind of fine? here it comes it comes again, knowing we should just stay friends but don’t hang up the phone, don’t go i need someone here, can’t be alone i am filled with fear and disgust about what i have done to myself i cannot go out or eat i won’t shower or wash my feet i don’t want to see anybody when I’m like this when I’m like this, when I’m like this, why am i like this
14.
homolono 13:11
15.
idk 02:39

credits

released February 22, 2024

artwork by Matt Brush <3 @collage.mirage on instagram

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about

queer choir Boston, Massachusetts

writing as i play, playing as i write. strums the strums and hums the hums.

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